prayer for my father

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: family, prayer
• Date: Jul 13,2007

Friends, I would kindly like to ask for your prayers for my father.

I got a call from him early this evening and he shared with me that he had been let go at his job due to corporate restructuring and downsizing. He had been working as a data processor/computer programmer/information technician for a southeast Missouri trucking company with ties to Proctor and Gamble for 5+ years. Prior to that, he had worked for over 20 years as data processing manager for Cape Girardeau County [MO].

Even though he was given two months severance, he was let go on the spot. The whole experience has left him a state of shock. He is concerned about finding a new job at his age and the overall job market in southeast Missouri.

Two requests:
-First, if you hear of any open jobs in the computer field, please pass them on to me. My dad and his wife are willing to relocate. I think this is a great way to leverage the power of the blogosphere to assist my father.
-Second, keep him in your prayers. His name is Ron.

fireworks in a ghost town

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: family, fatherhood, parenting, reflections
• Date: Jul 4,2007

Tonight, my family and I – my wife and our 3 children who are all under 5 – went down the road to an interesting spot to view some 4th of July fireworks. A spot that has an intriguing history.

Back in the late 90′s, St. Louis’ Lambert Airport was promised a lucrative contract with a major airline. And with this deal, Lambert would need to expand – extra runways and concourses, etc. So they bought out some land southwest of their facility which in turn meant that neighborhoods, churches, businesses, etc. in that area would need to be demolished and folks would have to relocate.

Well, the contract didn’t meet it desired expectations. Lambert did a partial expansion [although in February of this year, the city announced plans to continue the expansion]. And acres and acres of land now sit empty as thousands of people had to leave.

The Riverfront Times stated in 2002 that over 1925 homes were demolished and in January of this year, the USA Today reported that ,” … the runway displaced 6,000 residents of suburban Bridgeton from their homes. And John Krekeler, one of 16 Lambert airport commissioners, estimates that only 5% of flights at Lambert use the new runway.”

So today, only a few empty houses and a church remain. A veritable ‘ghost town’ in the middle of a major metropolitan city. But in the very back of this ‘ghost town’ sits a park that is a part of the Bridgeton park system. The park still has a certain level of maintenance. And even though there is virtually nothing around it, I think it was made for a night like tonight.

I saw – no joke – probably 20-25 major fireworks displays west down the I-40 corridor – St. Charles, St. Peters, O’Fallon, Lake St. Louis, Wentzville, etc. – north up the I-270 corridor – Bridgeton, Florrisant, Ferguson, etc. – and northwest into Elsberry, Louisiana, etc. Our kids were mesmerized. And so were their parents.

And there were other families there. Ones that I’m sure remember when this community was a fledgling neighborhood. Now all that’s left are empty lots and the occasional home whose windows are broken and shrubs are overgrown.

As we drove out of the ‘ghost town,’ I couldn’t help but think of all the people who were uprooted from these neighborhoods for nothing. They are now scattered all over St. Louis and St. Charles counties. The band director at my church and his family used to live in one of the neighborhoods. They now live in St. Charles.

But I was also reminded as my family and I left the park that home isn’t a structure. Home truly is where the heart resides. And as I looked at my exhausted kids in the rear view mirror and my pregnant wife to the right of me, I realized no one can take your home from you.

Even if they take your house from you.

pater familias day

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: family, fatherhood, parenting
• Date: Jun 18,2007

It is hard to fathom sometimes I am a dad. Just 6 years ago, I was newly married, pursuing a record deal in Nashvegas, and taking care of a miniature rat terrier puppy named Bebo. I know, what a corny name for a dog….

As I type this tonight, I am listening to my wife talk on the phone to her sister in Iowa – who just gave birth to her first – giving her tips for recovery. I’m looking down at my wife’s stomach and she is great with child with our fourth. Yes, our fourth…

So yesterday for Father’s Day, my wife and I took our three kids to a local mall. We ate lunch at one of daddy’s favorite spots. Our lunches are filled with trying to keep our kids sitting in their chairs, not spilling their drinks or eating the crayons and occasional three-word sentence to each other while we scarf our food. In the old days, Holly and I would have had a peaceful meal filled with much conversation and a normal eating pace.

Next it was off to the bathrooms – to take care of business. My son decided he needed to to really go – if you know what I mean. We are at the stage where daddy still needs to check to make sure one’s hiney is clean. It wasn’t. In the old days, I’m outta there in 2 minutes…

Next, I took the kids to a sports outfitters store called Cabelas. But it’s not because I’m a sportsman. No, it was for the tortoises. And all the stuffed animals you could think of and then some. We even saw an albino catfish and we shot some cork guns. In the old days, I wouldn’t step a foot into this outdoor wonderland…

Finally, we ended up at an indoor playground where the other fathers had stopped for a reprieve. My youngest daughter – 1 year-old – decides to be bold and slide down the 10-foot version in this mall. I saw my life and hers flash before my eyes. She was fine. In the old days, I would have laughed at the 6-foot men having to maneuver in and out the playground equipment to keep up with their kid and went on the video game store.

Father’s Day has become such an amazing thing. In many ways, it’s as much about my kids as it is about me.

You see, in the old days, I wasn’t a father.

And the funny thing is, living in the here and now, getting ready for my fourth baby in August, I wouldn’t trade those old days for a thing.

Except maybe having to wipe hinies…

jaidyn ann kleeman – welcome to our world!

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: family, parenting
• Date: Jun 15,2007

Praise God! A new quiver begins…

Holly’s younger sister and her husband, Rachel and Casey, gave birth to their first child, a girl, Jaidyn Ann Kleeman this morning. She was 7 lbs., 6 oz. and 19″ long.

Congratulations Casey and Rachel. What a cutie! Cooper, Margo, and Sloan can’t wait to see their new cousin…

May God bless you as you enter this new and exciting season of life. Here is the best parent’s prayer I know of. Take the words of this prayer to heart:

Oh, God, make me a better parent.
Help me to understand my children,
to listen patiently to what they have to say
and to answer all their questions kindly.
Keep me from interrupting them,
talking back to them and contradicting them.
Make me as courteous to them
as I would have them be to me.

Give me the courage to confess my sins
against my children and to ask of them forgiveness,
when I know that I have done them wrong.

May I not vainly hurt the feelings of my children.
Forbid that I should laugh at their mistakes or
resort to shame and ridicule as punishment.

Let me not tempt a child to lie and steal.
So guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate
by all I say and do that honestly produces happiness.

Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me.
May I cease to nag:
and when I am out of sorts,
help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue.

Blind me to the little errors of my children
and help me to see the good things that they do.
Give me a ready word for honest praise.

Help to treat my children as those of their own age,
but let me not exact of them the judgments
and conventions of adults.
Allow me not to rob them of the opportunity
to wait upon themselves,
to think, to choose, and to make decisions.

Forbid that I should ever punish them
for my self satisfaction.
May I grant them all of their wishes that are reasonable
and have the courage always
to withhold a privilege that I know will do them harm.
Amen.

counter-cultural parenting…

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: family, parenting, the art of...
• Date: Mar 31,2007

Via Brant Hansen of Letters from Kamp Krusty:

I’m hereby offering advice to no one in particular. No one asked for it, and no one should vainly imagine themselves its intended audience. So be not offended. I didn’t have you in mind. You probably think this song is about you? Don’t you? Don’t you?

Put Your Dang Kids to Bed!

Seriously. You can do it.

If you want to have a marriage with some zing, put your dang kids to bed. Put them to bed EARLY. Put them to bed on time, the same time, every night, and make them stay there.

Then, go goof off with your wife. Laugh and talk and unwind and watch “Walker, Texas Ranger” until you can’t laugh anymore. Be unproductive. Smooch. Do this every night.

Your kids need to sleep, and they can sleep. They actually don’t have to get up every ten minutes. They’re just doing that to get attention and delay bedtime. Don’t allow it, or you’re a pansy.

This gives you — and, more importantly, your wife — some peaceful time, every day, to look forward to. Moreover, it lets you stay happily married. She’s under less stress, you have time to connect, life is good, your marriage means something, and you remember you’re not just roomies with junior-size roomies running around.

Don’t just “help” with bedtime. Supervise it, entirely. Let your wife use that time as wind-down time, or to take care of last-minute things. Kids will want to make bedtime an endless parade of traditions, too, in order to stave it off. Don’t let this happen. Make it as simple a process as possible. If you want to read a story, awesome! Just start early enough that the lights go off at the appointed time. Your kids will start to complain. Too bad. Lights off. Sweet dreams. Buh-bye.

Let them know that your time with your wife trumps all other considerations, and, after their bedtime, they are “other considerations.” Kids resist this, but — deep down — positively love it.

7 p.m. is not too early for young children. Give yourself a couple hours together, not one or two nights a week, but five or six.

If she’s stressed out every night, because of her job, let her quit her job. If you can’t afford it, afford it. Sell stuff. Move. Rent. Forget the college fund. Don’t buy dumb cars and houses and stuff to make yourself feel cool, and miss out on a joyous, stress-limited marriage. She can take care of herself. It’ll give her time, and energy, to love her children, her neighbors, and you.

So you bought her a nice car? Who gives a rip? She’d rather drive an old mini-van and have you around, living life together at a sweet, beautiful pace. Even if she doesn’t think she wants this, she does.

Quit buying crap and live in a trailer if you have to. And put your trailer-kids to bed, for crying out loud.

There. Sheesh.

My wife and I thought we were crazy. Now, we’re just ‘krusty’…

the diaper shift and innocent accountability

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: environment, family, humor, social issues
• Date: Mar 22,2007

For some time, my wife and I have been talking about how deficient we are when it comes to our concern for our environment. And over the years, little has been done to right the deficiency. But we have been noticing a shift in our souls. A shift that is producing action over complacency.

I know folks have different views on things, so this is no way meant to be elitist or snobby, but we have felt really convicted – after having three kids and expecting our fourth in August – about how disposable diapers are not that good for the environment.

It is estimated that roughly 5 million tons of untreated waste and a total of 2 billion tons of urine, feces, plastic and paper are added to landfills I annually. It takes around 80,000 pounds of plastic and over 200,000 trees a year to manufacture the disposable diapers for American babies alone. Although some disposables are said to be biodegradable; in order for these diapers to decompose, they must be exposed to air (oxygen) and sun. With this in mind, it can take several hundred years for the decomposition of disposables to take place, with some of the plastic material never decomposing. The untreated waste placed in landfills by dirty disposable diapers is also a possible danger to contaminating ground water.

Pro-disposable advocates say that cleaning cloth diapers uses more energy, and contributes to the load on sanitary sewer systems and potential water pollution. The problem is the amount of water used per week to wash cloth diapers at home is about the same amount consumed by an adult flushing the toilet four or five times daily for a week. Also, the greater amount of water and energy being used by diaper service companies to wash large amounts of cloth diapers multiple times; the per diaper impact on energy and water supplies is actually less than home washing.

Finally, when flushing solids from a cloth diaper down the toilet and washing the diapers in a washing machine, the contaminated, dirty water from both toilet and washing machine go into the sewer systems where they are properly treated at wastewater plants. This treated wastewater is much more environmentally friendly than dumping untreated soiled disposable diapers into a landfill.

I know that was heavy, but I wanted to give you some background on this issue.

So why I am talking about this? Well, we have decided with our almost 1-year old and our forthcoming baby boy that will shift primarily – if not completely – to cloth diapers. We have started the process slowly but surely with our 1-year old, but haven’t shifted completely quite yet. It’s pretty hard to do this cold turkey.

As we’ve been researching, our 5 and 3-year old have been ‘taking notes.’ And this week, in a weak moment, we put a disposable “white” diaper on our 1-year old. The kids now call them “white” diapers. Our 5-year old immediately scolded us and said that “We were hurting the world.” Then our 3-year old joined right in and said “Yea and your hurting the trees too!”

So at least we have some accountability. Innocent as it may be…

a valentine’s hymn for my wife

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: family
• Date: Feb 14,2007

In the Message translation of the Bible, the Proverbs 31 passage is titled as “Hymn to a Good Wife.” Being a musician and having an appreciation for the sacred nature of music, I though it was appropriate to reprint the opening verse of the ‘hymn’ as well as the Proverbs 12:3 passage in honor of my wife. So please indulge me while I love on my wife for a moment…

Hymn to a Good Wife

A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
Proverbs 31:9

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband…
Proverbs 12:3

Baby, I heart you! You are my crown!

You are the most beautiful [inside and out] wife and mother God could have blessed me with. Happy Valencards Day!

Love,

7 degrees of brad, sort’ve

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: Bible study, family, humor, social justice, worship
• Date: Jan 18,2007

Not quite the six degrees of Kevin Bacon, but it will do:

Degree #1: During my time in Nashvegas, I attended The People’s Church where Shaun Groves and I became friends. One of the friendliest things he did was try to convince his record label’s president to come to a showcase of mine. He didn’t come, but the gesture was awesome!

Degree #2: On his blog, my friend, Shaun, discusses how understanding Greek unearthed the real meaning of the shalom: the absence of war.

Degree #3: Rob Bell just preached a sermon series at his church, Mars Hill Church, in December of ’06 entitled “Calling All Peacemakers,” in which he challenged his church to think about the long standing history of non-violence.

Degree #4: Rob Bell says this on the Mars Hill Church website about their belief about how Jesus and worship interface:

Through Jesus we have been forgiven and God is reconciling us to himself, each other, ourselves, and creation. Jesus is the only mediator between God and humans. For all who accept his sacrifice he gives the Holy Spirit who leads us into all truth through a communal life of worship and a missional expression of our faith.

Degree #5: I wrote a blog entry about the accessibility of worship lyrics that got picked up by the ESV blog. Wow!

Degree #6: The ESV blog picks up Midwestern MDiv student Hank Imler’s blog entry about bible translation issues.

Degree #7: Hank Imler is my cousin by marriage.

quiver addition: baby andrews #4 on the way

• Author: Brad
• Filed under: family
• Date: Jan 3,2007

Just sent this email out to our loved ones:

Friends and family:

We wanted to send a note to let you know that we are expecting! Baby Andrews #4 is on its way. The due date is August 13. Please pray for strength and health for Holly and for health for the baby.

Cooper and Margo are so happy about the future baby. They are praying for twins: one boy and one girl. We’re not sure about that…

Hope this email finds you well!

Brad and Holly

Our three children, Cooper, Margo, and Sloan, are absolute joys! Our family is expanding and for that, I thank God!

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Psalm 127:3-5